Are you ready to come out to your parents, family, or friends? Stop! Before you do, read these 10 mistakes people make when they come out.
1. Have No Idea What To Say
Before you take the first step, make sure you know what you will say. Not knowing what to say will put you in a very awkward position and will open up a door for their judgement (if that happens) to hit you very hard.
Know how you will say it as well as how you may answer some of their questions. Think about some questions which may arise and what your answers may be. If you already came out to some friends, ask them to role play with you (if it will make you feel more confident.)
2. Being Under Influence (Alcohol or Drugs)
Although it sounds like alcohol or drugs may help you relax when coming out, being sober usually brings about better results. You will be able to react faster and more composed to questions your friends or family may have.
Being sober also sends a message to them that you are in control of your life and know exactly what you are doing. If you come out while you are under influence, they may not believe you and just think that you are drunk or high.
3. Not Having A Back Up Plan
In some cases parents may not accept the idea at all. Before you come out to them, have a back up plan in case you need to leave your house, so you can go stay with a trusted friend or a family member.
Although most coming out situations do not end up with being kicked out, some do. You do not want to end up on the street without a plan.
Related Article: How To Come Out As Bi
4. Getting Into Arguments
Your friends or family may not fully understand where you are coming from; they may start arguing their point of view. If this happens, do not get sucked into their argument. Simply listen to what they have to say (they are craving to be heard), then calmly explain your point of view.
If they are being rude and are attacking you physically or verbally, simply leave and resume this conversation when they are calm and ready to listen.
5. Expecting Them To Understand
Although some people will embrace you and understand you right away, some may not. Know that some people need time to process the information. Do not feel like they owe you anything, if you let go of having any expectations, then you won’t feel hurt if it’s the worst case scenario.
Of course they are your friends and family and you may feel like they have to understand. The truth is, we are all individuals with our own points of view and we all have the right to feel and think a certain way.
6. Making Coming Out The Main Focus
Although you may want to have a private conversation with some people (like your parents), with others you may want to bring up your sexuality very casually.
For example, if homosexuality comes up in a conversation, you may want some say something like “as gay (lesbian, other sexuality), I feel that _________” Here, you are basically coming out to them and making a point from your perspective on the subject already at hand.
Casual conversation like this in many cases puts defenses down and peaks their curiosity. It also show them that you are very confidence about your sexuality; thus giving you an upper hand if they happen to disagree.
7. Coming Out Before You Are Ready
Some of your LGBT friends may pressure you to come out, or someone may call you out on being in the closet. Do not come out unless you are ready.
It is your life, it is your choice when you come out. Do not let anyone else tell you otherwise. You will know when you are ready to do so.